I love it here on earth and i really don’t care a fig for what comes next
I’ve said it now, so.
When i cut your hair with my special, very appropriate, scissors you didn’t like it really. You kept whispering ‘oh god, oh god’ over again. I laughed nervously and ran out of words to say.
We now think that it was all rather prophetic. Very. Not rather. Insights into an inner world which becomes all encompassing; all important and filled with leaves
and branches
and feathers
and beaks
and mulch probably
and bluebottles
and spit probably.
Her glassy blue eyes take us forward and not backward as we are led to believe. She forgets the words to a nursery rhyme but is actually predicting our future. Every single one of us stood on that platform having our fortunes read without even knowing.
I didn’t know why we didn’t go home. Something was stopping us, certainly. Thinking it was booze, adrenaline, nervous haircuts, dancing or sweat was the reason, we stayed and stayed until the end. Climbing onto the table, underneath it, I took off my t-shirt and put it over your head, the sweat collecting underneath my slipper-socks. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Bleached hair and orange velvet catches the lights and it feels like the last party in the world. The last family wedding.
Only it was a family that I’d never met before and I was dying to get to know. So many of them all wearing cool crumpled t-shirts and rolling cigarettes. I grumpily sat in my pyjamas and hoped no one noticed my lack of underwear.why would they
The previous night i said the word ‘mate’ over and over again until we realised that this had been going on for a while. Their struggles, I mean. Fearing one’s own mind. Loathing the bends and fluctuations. Pulling against them and being pushed away again and once again.
I then slept self-righteously underneath the pastel pink quilt, whispering to the wall and screwing my eyes together. Hours later (it could have been minutes or maybe days), two more people were clambering in with me. Louder voices than I had grown accustomed to in my own head and they were talking about drugs and boys. My eyes screwed themselves together and I whispered more fervently to the wall. The innocent and worldly wall. Stale cigarette smoke, popery and garlic filled my nostrils. Organic shampoo radiating from the heads of my friends. And then sleep. Calling me inward. Whispering in my ear...
Unknowingly that’s where the world was going too- travelling inwards.